Warning: Satire Ahead

JAMF.wtf

Joyfully Assembling My Furniture

Because nothing says "Sunday well spent" quite like deciphering hieroglyphic instructions while surrounded by 47 identical screws and a lingering sense of regret.

The Assembly Experience

The Instructions

A wordless visual journey featuring stick figures who seem to possess superhuman strength and six hands. Step 4 looks exactly like Step 7. Good luck.

The Hardware

47 identical screws labeled A through Z, then AA, AB, AC. Plus mysterious extra pieces that definitely weren't in the instructions. Are they important? Probably.

The Result

It's done! It only wobbles slightly. Don't look at it from the left side. And definitely don't put anything heavy on it. Perfect.

4+
Hours Per Shelf
Box said "30 minutes"
73
Extra Screws
Totally normal, right?
Perfectly Level
If you squint and tilt your head

Real* Testimonials

"I followed the instructions exactly. Three times. It's still wobbly. My cat is judging me. I have a degree in engineering."

- Defeated Engineer, 2024

"The box said 'no tools required.' I now own six different Allen wrenches, three screwdrivers, and a rubber mallet I didn't know I needed."

- Optimistic Homeowner, 2024

*Not real. Obviously.

Frequently Asked Complaints

Q: Is this website serious?

A: As serious as the "30-minute assembly time" printed on the box.

Q: What should I do with the extra screws?

A: Keep them in a jar. Tell yourself they're "spares." Ignore the voice saying you definitely forgot to use them somewhere critical.

Q: My furniture is definitely wobbling. Is that normal?

A: Absolutely! It adds character. Also known as "rustic charm" or "artisanal instability."